Monday, March 5, 2012

Starting over... again.


These are the things I must focus on. You know, all the things in my life I have control over. This is true now, more than ever. I'm at a crossroads with a few things, some in my control, some out. So, I am making the conscious decision to focus on those that I can. To make myself better... happy even.

For starters, things at home aren't so great. Really, they are so up in the air I'm not even sure I can say one way or another what's really going on. (Ah, the joys of marraige.) Then, things at work aren't really fantastic. These are things I can't necessarily focus on immediate change... but long term.

But, things I have control over are: food intake and workouts. These are the things I will focus on. I warn you, I may become obsessive. I should say upfront that I am at my heaviest weight in the last year. I'm miserable. I'm still not 100% from my injury. Not to fear, I have plans! Today I restarted my eating plan. I had a nice little chat with the naturopath on saturday and she reminded me that I know exactly what I need to do. For me, it's a matter of setting my mind to it, not eating my feelings, and fighting those food addiction issues I will face forever. I've started today with a better outlook. I've got my supplements lined out for the week, my meals planned... this is what I need to do for noone but myself. I'm scheduling workouts for the week. I mean, if I'm limited to 20 minutes of cardio a day, then there's no excuse to fit in those 20 minutes right. My sanity is relying on it!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Holy neglected blog batman...

I can hardly believe my last post was in August. What in the world have I been doing all this time??

There's really nothing I can say for the months of September - December. I went to see Dave Matthews, went to Vegas, tried hitting every party I could.. basically went buckwild with eating everything in sight, while still teaching 4 classes a week at the gym and playing on 2 soccer teams. I started gaining weight. One little pound here.. one little pound there. Here a pound, there a pound, holy night my butt got big. Then in January, I really did a number on myself while playing soccer. I tore my ACL and my MCL. Both. Not just one and done. Nope, that's not my style. It's always "Go big or go home" right? So, now I am down for the count. No working out except walking in the pool and only forward and back in a straight line, no lower body workouts at all, physical therapy 2 times a week which is more like an hour at a time of all out torture. (Seriously, who decided that rubbing a metal plate on my knee was a good idea? That HURTS!!)

And now what? Here I am, back to where I was a year ago... and feeling like a fish out of water. I've had a rough couple of weeks being debbie downer and feeling sorry for myself, a stressful time at work, a child who has decided she hates school... but I am slowly picking up the pieces. Sure, I might take one step forward and two hundred eighty two steps back, but there is always some forward progress in the end. I've had a heck of a time getting back on track with eating well. I mean, Forrest Gump said life was like a box of chocolates, but chocolate is disgusting... and I'm pretty sure he really meant life is a heaping plate of nachos washed down with 4 beers. I realize that it's all about small steps. I am going to enjoy my 11th year wedding anniversary this weekend and then it's on. Time to start cutting back on all of those things I've been letting myself indulge in. Time to start food journaling again. Time to get my rear in gear. After all... isn't that really what it's all about with me anyway? Rear in gear. Rev up your engines. It's GO time.

P.S. Thanks to all of you who have been hounding me about my neglected blog. It was time to jump back on the bandwagon again :)