This weekend was a testament to how much my life has changed. My sister and I drove to Moses Lake, WA to see a concert at the Gorge Amphitheater. We were both a bit apprehensive about this trip because the gorge trips have always had the theme, 'eat, drink and be merry.' Times they are a-changin'.

We decided that on the way up we would climb Multnomah Falls. 1 mile. Straight up. Tina ran and I power walked. At the top, we both did jumping jacks and pushups. Then we both ran to the bottom and did crunches. According to my trusty bodybugg, I burned 756 calories in about 30 minutes. Intense! Then we hit the road and made our way to the Gorge. We also made a deal that for every mile we drove, I would do a jumping jack and she would do a crunch. We decided that ultimately we would do either a crunch, pushup or jumping jack so that we would get an all around good workout. We set up camp and then decided that our activities would best be suited for completion in the restroom because we don't want to give any townie a heartattack. Haha. The grand total for each of us was 400 and I must say that I am very proud. We brought healthy snacks, had sandwiches for lunch and dinner and drank 55 calorie beers. Total calorie burn for Saturday was 4126. Completely crazy! We didn't commit to working out yesterday, but I still managed to burn 3026 calories from all the walking and dancing in the car we did. Haha.

This week is going to be completely crazy. Tonight I have an hour long training session scheduled. Tomorrow I pack. Wednesday I work a half day and then hit the road for an overnighter in Seattle. Thursday we drive from Seattle to Moses Lake. Game on! I know I can be active on vacation. I know I can make good choices. The hardest part for me is not stressing about everything I put in my mouth. It's my birthday for pete's sake. I should be able to eat, drink and be merry. Then I should probably run a marathon or something to get back on track. I just worry that I won't get back on track or that I will have done so much damage that I can't get back to where I was before. It's ridiculous, but it's true. This whole process is more mental than anything. I am at constant battle with all of the negative thoughts in my head. Some days I win and some days I don't.

My upper body has been annihilated. Did I really sign up for this?? Haha. Just kidding. I had training Wednesday and Thursday nights this week and this morning I woke up thinking and feeling like that may have been a mistake (although it's most likely that I am being a whiney baby).

Wednesday I lifted for back and biceps. It was a tough one and I was pouring sweat about 4 minutes into it. Here's what it consisted of:

isobent row: 25 lbs./15 reps
dumbell reverse fly: 10 lbs./20 reps
superset x 4 (meaning I did the one set of rows and then went straight into the reverse fly and then straight into the second set)

assisted pullups: 20 reps
stiff arm pullover: 40 lbs./20 reps
seated low row: 75lbs./90 lbs. /20 reps
superset x 4

After those, the trainer says, 'prepare for your biceps to die.' Ummm. So I guess this is the point where he makes me cry for my mommy.
pass curls 35 lbs. (these consisted of him doing one biceps curl, passing the bar to me so i can do one, then passing back to him so he does two and so on... up to 10 and then back down to 1)
He now tells me that he thinks he went too light on the weight and next time we start with 40 and work our way up to 50. Oh sheesh.

Thursday night I worked out with a different trainer who decided to destroy my upper body. It was really sweet of him to have me do chest and triceps following that back/biceps workout. NOT!! Here's what that workout went:

chest press: 60 lbs./15 reps x 3 sets
incline chest press: 20 lbs./15 reps x 3 sets
tricep extension: 60 lbs./15 reps x 5 sets
pullovers: 80 lbs./15 reps x 5 sets

And this is when I die. Hahaha. My upper body is pretty darn sore. I can't wait until I have been at this a little longer and it gets harder and I get stronger. I talked with S the trainer for a while last night about nutrition and how to make the most out of my time at the gym. He really wants me to go speak to a nutritionist about my carb/protein ratios. Apparently I don't eat enough of the right kind of carbs. Ugh.

On another note, I am headed for the Gorge this weekend to see Jeith Murban(John Mayer and Keith Urban) in concert at 'heaven's amphitheater.' I am in desperate need of some time away and this will be a great pre-funk to my birthday weekend spent there seeing the dave matthews band. I've made a tentative plan for eating healthy and staying somewhat active. We'll see how it all works out though. I already warned both the trainers that I was most likely going to be on a 6 day liquid diet next week consisting mainly of beer and jello shots. I don't think either one was impressed. Haha.

My body is in shock. There really is no other way to describe it. After all those squats on Thursday, I taught cycle on Friday, aqua aerobics Saturday morning followed by a fitness assessment with my trainer, 3 soccer games Saturday night and 1 soccer game Sunday morning. My legs are jell-o and in a perpetual state of sore. It hurts so good. I just remind myself that every sore muscle is a happy muscle getting stronger and burning more calories. Sometimes that works, sometimes I whine like a baby. Haha.

So back to that fitness assessment on Saturday....
Trainer boy gave me a choice whether to do the assessment at all or to work out. I decided to just do it so I had a realistic 'picture' of where I am at right now. This way, in two months, I can look back and really see the overall progress that I am making. It's not just about the scale people. Sure, that's a tool to gage where we are, but there are other ways to measure progress. Anyway, he started by weighing me, measuring me all over and then we did a few exercises to get a base level of fitness tracked. The first one of these was 3 minutes on the stairclimber and then he took my heartrate. (side note: the stairclimber is amazing and I love it... but not 2 days after doing the squat workout from hell) Then he had me do a seated bench press with a set amount of weight keeping the same speed for as many reps as possible. I consider my upper body weaksauce. In comparison with my lower body, it is. But it turns out that I have 'excellent' upper body strength. Then we did the same thing but on the leg press. I also have 'excellent' lower body strength. Then he had me do the sit and reach to test flexibility as well as doing as many crunches as possible in 1 minute.

After all of that, I look at where I am now and can't complain. Turns out that I am at an excellent fitness level. I am just overweight. Ok, technically I am obese. I've come a long way from that girl who weighed in at 367. The girl who could hardly walk one flight of stairs without sweating like a pig and being out of breath. Let's be honest, I am not that girl anymore. I haven't been for a long time. I have a hard time seeing that sometimes... but it's good to remember that I was like that at one time, I am not like that now and I certainly will never be like that again. Ever. Period. End of discussion. Time to burn the fat and whittle the middle

(Another side note: Some of you may have noticed that little ticker moving in the right direction finally. Well, it's true. I've finally broken the 5-6 month platuea and am now at 245. 122 lbs lost. I've made my first mini goal 230 so that I can enter the bone marrow registry. I think I'll even make the husband buy me a massage as a prize. Alright... back to work for me!)

This picture is of me 2 years ago. I weighed about 340 here. Gross.

I spent the hour before training teaching aqua aerobics and then did a quick little 5 minutes on the stairclimber. I wasn't really sure how this would go, but it turned out really well. I was nice and warmed up, ready for whatever the trainer would throw at me.

(side note: my scheduled trainer had some personal issue and approached me right when I walked in the gym to apologize and ask if it was alright if I worked with a different trainer. I ended up working out with JT, a no-nonsense, here's your ass on a platter kind of guy. Exactly the kind of training I needed for day 1. First thing he does is say, "I designed this workout to be like Crossfit. Can you handle that?" Ummmm. I can handle anything. Duh.)

So here is a breakdown of day 1 with the trainer:

Front Squats / 30 lb. bar:
20 reps x 3

Thruster Squats / 30 lb. bar:
20 reps x 3

Sumo Deadlift Squats / 30 lb. bar:
20 reps x 3

Medicine Ball Squat/Wall Throw / 9 lb. ball:
20 reps x 3

Row Machine:
200 yard sprint x 5 with 15 sec. break between each

Squats:
40 reps

Plank:
30 secs. x 3

Toe Touch Crunches/Torture:
30 reps x 2

Die. Hahaha. Just kidding. I'll be honest... I was pouring sweat. I felt like I might puke during the row sprints. My legs feel like jell-o. But, that was intense and exactly what I would expect a trainer to throw at me. I've been on a 5 month plateau. No more f-ing around. It's game time!

And so it begins...

Training, that is. I am ready for whatever my trainer brings to the table. I am ready to build strong(er) muscles. I am ready to whittle the middle. It's time. It's been time.

I have been really trying to set some goals for myself. The problem is, there is so much I want to accomplish... it's sometimes difficult for me to start small and work my way up. Obviously the ultimate goal is to complete an ironman. But what about everything else? I realize that there are a lot of things I need to accomplish before I can consider becoming an ironman. I know that I have to drop weight. I know that I must get stronger and faster. So here I am. Not really starting over, but just taking things from today forward. Today I train with my newly hired personal trainer. Today I focus on me.

kicking it up a notch

My birthday is coming up and my parents (and my husband) really want to know what I want. The thing is, I have pretty much everything I need and want (except for maybe a nice new $2500 triathlon bike.. hahaha... in my dreams) so it's been tough trying to come up with some ideas for them. I've thought long and hard about this. Finally I decided to ask my parents for personal training. First, I wanted to see if employees get a discount on personal training... I mean, why not get the most out of it right? Well, I went into the gym and asked... and guess what?@! It's a little less than half the price for me. When I found out how inexpensive it is, I signed up on the spot. Oops. Haha. There goes the training for my birthday idea. But in my defense, personal training is something I've wanted to do for myself for a really long time and could never really afford it... that is until now. I am seriously so excited I can't stand it. I want to start this instant cause I am such an instant gratification kind of girl. My first session is scheduled for this thursday. It will be right after I teach an aqua aerobics class which is soooo much fun and a nice little workout in itself (since I teach primarily from the pool deck). I am going to try to think of what it is that I want out of personal training. Obviously I want to lose weight... but more than that, I want to get stronger and faster and more awesome.

I still haven't come up with birthday ideas... but I'm sure something will come to me.

Sometimes I have so much to say that I don't think there are enough words in the universe for me to express it all. Sometimes, times like now, I don't have much to say.
I'm taking things as they come. Each day is new. I'm changing the things I can and making the most out of things I can't. I'm putting my health and happiness first. I may seem distant, but there are things that I just need to deal with in my own way. I'm changing physically and mentally. I'm becoming a better person.

It's really just about showing up.

Race day:
I woke up at 5:15am which is about normal for me... what isn't normal is staying up until almost 11pm the night before to watch Dodgeball and get myself fired up. I already had everything packed and ready to go, so at least the actual getting out of the house process was pretty harmless. I got dressed, loaded my gear and headed out to Blue Lake. I must say that the lack of traffic on a Saturday morning is so freaking nice. I actually got to drive the speed limit and didn't get cut-off by any jerks and didn't feel the need to scream any obsenities at all. Haha. I ate my little pre-race breakfast in the car (a peanut butter and honey sandwich prepared by my sister) and downed a bottle of water/nuun and sang some Queen trying to stay relaxed.

Pre Race:
Got to the lake and parked by 6:45am. Walked over to pick up my race packet and OMG... it's mosquito central!! Dumb me brought sunscreen (which I didn't need AT ALL) but didn't even think about bringing some bug spray. I got attacked. Pre-race I would say I got at least 10 ginormous squito bites. Apparently there was some sort of mix up when the 'data entry' person entered all of my information into the computer (they put me down as a 48 year old who wears a size medium... hahaha). I finally got it sorted out thanks to a friend who works for AA Sports and got the appropriate packet with the correct information. So, I walked back to my car, unloaded my bike and grabbed my transition bag. Walking towards transition, I spotted my sweet friend Bekah! Yay! I was super excited to see her since she was the only person I knew racing that day. Gave her a quick hug and headed to get body marked so I could actually chat a little with Beks later. After that whole black sharpie marking thing, I racked my bike and set up my transition area. The girl next to me had a balloon to mark where her bike was. Um. Is it seriously that hard to remember that your bike is racked on the very last bike rack right next to the run start?? Seriously lady. Anyway, I was all ready and walked over to chat with Bekah who asked me to help her get her wetsuit on. No problem. Got her in... and took off my warm clothes and headed out to the lake. Ummmm. Holy bath water! The water was soooo warm and I was really glad I had decided to forego the wetsuit. It was a little too warm for me. I am a super hot swimmer so the colder the better. Hopped in for a little warmup just in time for them to call everyone out of the water for pre-race announcements.

Swim:
Good lord. I should have trained. I've been battling swimmers shoulder for months and really the only thing that seems to help it is NOT swimming. Ugh. I'll be honest. I really struggled during the swim. My most favorite part of triathlons and I really f-ed it up. I'm pretty sure the kayaker thought I was gonna drown cause he kept paddling over near me. Haha. I did pass people in the wave in front of me, but for me... the swim was my biggest disappointment. I looked at my time later and actually added a LOT of time to my swim. For me this is a giant FAIL!

T-1:
I got out of the water feeling pretty good. Looking at my time, I know why. Nice leisurely swim is helpful for quick transitions cause you'll have plenty of energy to run up to transition. Haha. Since I didn't wear a wetsuit, all I had to do was put my shoes and bike helmet on and go.

Bike:
Flat and fast. Marine drive really is flat. It really is fast. It really sucks when the wind is blowing in your face. I felt pretty good during the bike. I setlled into a nice race-pace and just did it. I remembered how hard the bike portion is for me mentally. I don't know what it is, but put me on a bike in a race and I start getting all debbie downer and feel like giving up. Of course I'd never actually give up cause I'm just not that kind of girl, but it seriously messes with my head. One of the best distractions for me is all of the other racers who don't have any race etiquette... cause I start getting super irritated. Ummm... what part of don't pass on the right is so hard to understand. I had several thoughts of just stiff arming the girls who did that and watching them tumble down the hill and into the river. Haha. So... overall the bike portion was pretty good. Just about the same time as last year. Yay!

T-2:
Alright. Another peeve of mine is the ladies who ride up to the dismount area and then take FOREVER to get off their bike. I'm trying to get around you... hellooooooo. Other people. Haha. Anywho... this was by far the easiest transition ever. All I did was take off my bike helmet and put on a running hat and I was off. Easy peasy. Oh, and I saw my friend MaryJane who gave me a couple cheers, took my picture and gave me a little good luck high five. It's always nice to see a friendly face on the course!

Run:
So, I suck at running. Really. It's something I've come to terms with. Running at my size just isn't that easy. But here's the deal... I'm getting better at it. Faster even. I started off walking for 5 minutes. I'm glad I did, cause once I got out of transition and onto the flat paved portion I started running... and kept running. I saw another one of the instructors from LA Fitness. He was out cheering for some friends and gave me a few encouraging words before yelling 'move your ass girlfriend'... which really got me going. Surprise surprise! I ran the first mile and a half and once I got to the turn-around, grabbed some water and walked for a few minutes. Then I was off running again. I don't know what came over me, but my legs felt pretty good and so I kept running. In the end, the run portion ended up being the best for me. So weird. So not normal. I took over 10 minutes off my run time. I don't know how that's possible, but it happened.

So... there you have it. The race I didn't prepare for. It did show me a lot about myself though. I am still capable. I am still strong. I'm getting faster at some thngs. I need to work on others. But, I had such little expectations of myself for this race I am really really happy with my results. And hey, I was out there and I finished. Really, with no training, I should expect nothing else of myself!

Congrats to all of the first timers, to the repeat timers and to Bekah (who I am lucky to have as a friend).


And now I train. I have officially decided to do the Oly at Black Diamond. I may die.. or die trying, but I'm gonna do it. I looked at the times from the course for last year and know that I will most likely be last by a lot... but who cares. I'm gonna show up and finish cause that's what I do.