Sometimes all I need is to be reminded of how far I've really come. That's what keeps me going. It's especially nice when I've fallen back into a rut and can't seem to climb back out of it.
Last night I decided I would go check out the clearance at Avenue. If you don't happen to know what Avenue is (I hate you... hahaha kidding), it's a clothing store for plus sizes. There was a time when I would shop at Avenue and I was close to the top end. I was wearing a size 26/28 top and trying desperately to not buy a size 30 pant (that's size 30, not waist 30). Those were the days where I wanted to hide. Oh wait, I did hide. I wore baggy clothes and only dark colors and hoped that I would blend in as much as possible. I was sad and miserable. But now I'm done hiding. I wear bright colors (sometimes) and clothes that fit. Oh, back to my story... so there I was in Avenue grabbing shirts and pants in all the wrong sizes. I don't wear a 22/24 top anymore and I certainly don't wear a size 22 jeans. Nope, not me. After changing most of my clothes down several sizes, I decided to try a pair of 18 jeans. Slid them on... and.... TOO BIG! Aaaahhh. I did a super happy little dance in the dressing room and then went and grabbed myself a pair of 16's. I didn't really have high hopes. I mean, come on... a 16. Me? In a 16? It just didn't seem like something that would happen. But I tried them and guess what? Oh, you've probably figured out by now that they fit! Perfectly. I almost cried. I have such a hard time seeing myself as smaller because, well, I've been big(ger) for as long as I can remember. In seventh grade, I remember a specific pair of shorts I wore to school (why my mother let me leave the house in them is beyond me), but they were jean shorts with this hideous flag fabric trim and they were a size 14. In seventh grade I wore a size 14. So, here I am... 20+ years later and finally getting close to that size again.
Maybe that's the little push I need to get me out of my rut. Well, that and the fact that it's winter so no more bbq's and summer ale's and depressed because it's so hot. (yes, i'm the weirdo who loves running in the rain like a kid... it makes my heart happy, so back off! haha)I've been thinking of ways I can mix things up as far as workouts. I've been working with my trainer. But what I really need more than anything, is for that fire to be lit under my ass again to eat right. "they" say it's 80% eating and 20% workouts... and you know what? "they" are right.