Wednesday, January 26, 2011

There's really no questioning my drive and ambition when it's turned up to high. I'm focused. I've got my eyes on the prize or the tiger or whatever motivational quote you can come up with. Yet, here I am, still stuck in this rut. I had a really long talk with my inner self last night that went something like this:

Her: Why are you not losing weight anymore?
Me: Because I can't see myself thinner than I am and for some reason already feel like I've failed when the real fight is just beginning.
Her: Well, what the hell. You need to snap out of that this instant.
Me: I am sick and I don't feel like doing anything except whining and eating rainbow sherbet.
Her: Teach your class. Eat some soup. Drink some water. Get some sleep. Get your head back in the game.
Me: Ugh. It's not that simple.
Her: It is that simple. One meal and one step at a time. You can do this.

And so, the battle within my own head continues. The good side always reminding me of how far I've come, what I've accomplished and the endless possibilities of what lies ahead. The bad side always reminding me of my failures, my poor choices, my need for instant gratification. I know what needs to be done. It's time to pull out the duct tape and shut that bad mouthing other side of me up once and for all.

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