why all the silent treatment...

I've neglected this blog once again. The thing about writing about losing weight and working out is that when it's good, it's really good. Weight comes off and muscles get stronger. When it's bad though, it's really bad. There's weight gain and pants get tighter and that endorphin high is barely there or nonexistent. Self esteem becomes like a shrinky-dink in the oven... shriveling into little pieces of it's former self.

This is where I find myself now.

Up a few pounds. Disenchanted with life. Unhappy with myself. Upset that I let myself get to this point again. Angry that I so easily let the actions of other people affect how I feel about myself. Sad that I forget just how far I've come and how hard I had to work to get here. I rejoined Weight Watchers in the hopes that it would kick my ass into gear again. It hasn't. The thing about Weight Watchers (or any other weight loss program) is that it really only works if you follow the program and show up for your weigh-in. Duh. I though that putting my bodybugg back on would get me back on track. Meh. It's (my calorie burn) slowly working it's way back to where I want it to be. I feel like one of those ladies on the lifeline commercials. "I've fallen, and I can't get up." I feel like I'm drowning. Now if I could just figure out how to get back to the surface for a little air....