Here's what happens when I stop focusing on myself and put all of my needs on the backburner so I can take care of a husband who had ankle surgery. I gain weight. Yep. 10 freaking pounds in 10 days. Yes, I know that a lot of that is water retention. Yes, I know that I would have had to ingest 35,000 extra calories over that period. No, I did not. But, I did eat a LOT of things my body has become unaccustom to as I've given myself this little life makeover. I poisoned myself with lots of alcohol, pizza, cookies (I don't even like them, but they were there and I found myself shoveling those little alphabet shaped letters down my gullet every time I walked by the jar), and whatever else I could find to eat. There's no excuse. I have noone to blame but myself. I'm frustrated. I blew off plans with a friend because I was exhausted and my stomach hurt I couldn't move off the couch. Pathetic.
Here's what I'm doing to fix that. This morning I woke up refocused, slightly. I feel like I'm in a funk again, but I can't dwell on my failures. It's too easy to discount all of the hard work I've put in. So... I got up, put my big girl panties back on, and got back on track. I'm teaching cycle this evening. I've made my meal plan for the week. I've written out my workout schedule. There's no excuse now. None. It's up to me to stay on track. If I want to be succesful, I need to to put myself first. Be selfish. This is MY time dammit.