I've been injured over 3 weeks now. I either have a cold or allergies or some messed up combination of both. I've been having issues at work. Basically, I am functioning at half of my normal self. After I posted yesterday, I had a little chat with a smarty. She reminded me that if I don't think I'm special or worth more, no one else will either. She's right. I deserve the best of what's around. I am just as special as the next person (if not a little more..haha). I just lack the self confidence to come out and say it. So here I am. Saying it. I AM SPECIAL DAMMIT!
I can't pinpoint the one thing that sucked all my self confidence, because it wasn't just one thing. The combination of being told by someone that I wasn't important enough to make time for. Being told that I am a terrible friend by someone else. Being looked at like I don't belong in a store. Being stared at as I sweat my ass off on the treadmill. Basically letting all of the outside influences take hold. Well, I've had it. I worked my ass off to get to where I am now. I am a good friend who'd be there in a heartbeat if someone needed me. I belong in the gym. If I'm not important enough for some people to make time for, it's their loss. Basically, I am awesome.
I decided I am going to the auditions. I am going to sparkle and shine and show them that I am the best choice for the next season.
I deserve to be on the BL. I deserve to show the world what I'm made of. I am going to lose the weight (with or without Bob and Jillian). I am going to be an Ironman.